dreams&nightmares [Phoebe]

[Luciano Nicoli]

&&&

The light of the day flowed into his small room when the sun peaked high enough. It worked as a snake crawling into the home of an unsuspecting victim. It snaked across the floor, up onto his bed and crawled along his feet, up to his thighs and over his bare chest until it washed over his face; his opened eyes blinking twice before they adjusted sufficiently. This was his ritual, to watch the sun rise from his bedroom window then rise with the day. It had been his ritual since his mother had passed away, but she did leave him some things…knowledge of her love for him was one, and then there was that necklace that made little to no sense in its crafting. That was before he started Seeing, and before he knew that he was and the title his mother had given to him. A controversial title at that. So much that leaders of other Gypsy Tribes across the globe had ventured to witness the first male Shuvani in forever. Never had there been another, especially one so powerful even without the talisman and though reluctant to, they accepted him and he was given permission to form his own Tribe with those who wished to be led by him, and so far it has just been him. The Tribe that previously lived here…they left.

He sat up and turned. Putting his feet on the wooden floors as a yawn escaped him. He scratched the side of his neck; then got to his feet. First stop was the bathroom. He slapped his hand on the switch as he entered and stood before the dirty mirror. He scratched his beard, yawned again and looked down at the tattoo of Udjat on his left pec. He raised his finger to it and traced it before looked back to the reflection. Sometimes, he had the feeling that behind the mirror lay a different him, not just a reflection, but a different him that did different things and had a different life except for the fact that they both lived in a trailer in an entire settlement…empty settlement. Tossing the thought aside, he turned on the water, washed his face then grabbed his face towel and dried his dripping face all the way into his kitchen which was like…what, five steps away? There was a bag of coffee there but he was in the mood for something better…in other words, café-bought and his cupboards were bare. That’s what happens when you worked for minimum wage and took it with content rather than contempt.

Deciding to skip out on breakfast until he found the desire and energy to head to the store with what little cash he had on him, he headed back to his room, pulled on a pair of long track pants over his boxers and walked, still shirtless, into his small living room and sat down in front of the television. And he would have watched it. Yeah, he would have grabbed the remote, turned it on and watched some Saturday morning Cartoons…except for the fact that the remote was nowhere to be found and the set…well, that stopped working when he accidently knocked it onto his front while moving his stuff in and that was fifteen months ago. Damn, he needed a new job; this supermarket gig was not going to hold up for much longer…but he was going to think about that later when he was less bothered by all that was ahead of him. With that he got to his feet, unlocked and kicked the trailer door open then sat right there on the steps and looked out at the empty settlement. For something so simple…it was peaceful, and beautiful, and hidden away, except for the Herbal Store that had been closed down. Something should be done about that.

[Phoebe Halliwell]

'Its been a while.' Phoebe thought to herself as she stepped off the stone path that wound its way through the park, branching off into several other paths as it went.

As others continued along the path she walked into the cluster of trees that bordered the park. The trees got denser as she walked further and further into the miniature forest, the sunlight being shut out by the closely packed foliage above. It took five more minutes of what probably appeared to be aimless walking without any destination in mind before the darkness of the forest began to lessen and light once again found its way through.

A new path or rather a trail could now be seen and the dark haired woman made her way along it. It was not long before she reached a fork in the road and chose the path that continued on right. Up ahead there was an area that seemed particularly bright as if the trees had been cleared away around that particular spot. Phoebe went towards the light, eventually turning a bend.

She remembered the first time that she had ever visited the village It was as if she had stepped into a whole new world, completely different from the one she had just left. She had watched groups children running around, chasing each other in a game of tag. She had seen women could be seen bent over basins of water as they washed their clothes. Phoebe was even pretty sure that she had been able to spot a couple people in the field that lay in the distance at the far end of the village; probably picking various plants and herbs.

One of her most distinct memories of that visit was when she had passed a group of old women who had been absorbed in conversation but had stopped to gawk at her and then began their not so quiet whisperings. To this day there was no doubt in her mind that they had been the source of the fast spreading news of her presence as she saw heads suddenly beginning to peak out of house doors and tent openings as she passed through the village. Even the children had realized that something was up as they paused their play to stare after her too. It had caused quite a stir to have one of the Charmed Ones in their humble village.

However, that scene isn't what greeted her now. The village that had once been vibrant and full of life was now like a desert town. They were no children playing, no women gathering water from the stream to do their washing, no gossiping old ladies, no people in the distance tending to the fields. It definitely wasn't the village from her memories and hadn't been for quite some time.

If Phoebe had not been to this place countless times before she surely would have gotten lost as she walked along the almost maze patterned roads that wound through the village. It took ten minutes of walking through the paths between the empty and abandoned trailers, tents and houses before she found what she had been looking for. She had finally reached what could be considered the peak of the village; there sat a lone trailer that was far away from the other abodes to give it some level of separation and yet close enough that it could still be seen that it had once been part of the village. Even from a distance, Phoebe could see that on the steps of said trailer sat a lone figure. She smiled as she drew closer and was soon close enough to see the familiar face.

"Long time, no see." she said smiling as she stopped in front of the young man.

[Luciano Nicoli]

&&&

The silence did not bother him. Not at all actually. He liked the quiet; preferred it really so sitting there on the steps to his trailer, he did not feel unsettled by the silence that flooded this village. It was the loneliness that brought the silence. Aside from working not far off, his time was spent here. Mornings before work, evenings after work and weekends. He never left this place and going to buy groceries did not count. He was lonely here and it was getting to him. Over and over he found himself thinking about the ways he pleaded to the previous settles to stay and accept him for his birthright, and over and over he tried to think of what he could do better, what more he could have done to make them stay without having to having to step down from the title his mother gave him…and over and over again he came up empty on what he could have done or should have done because he did nothing wrong. He did absolutely nothing wrong and for that, loneliness was the price, the punishment.

He sighed as he looked off to the left. Immediately after, he got up and went into the trailer to return to its entrance some moments after, pulling on a white vest while standing in the doorway, then he stepped down and headed off to his left. This direction took him through the depressingly quiet, empty homes of those who once lived here but his destination was to that hill he discovered sometime back. It was not that steep and it, conveniently, had a large mahogany tree at its peak. He walked up to it, sat at the base of the tree with his back pressed to it and he just looked down at the village. Again, for something so simple…it was perfect. It was a peaceful place where families lived, grew and passed on with friends close at hand. Everyone lived to co-operate because it meant supporting each other in such a community and that was beyond vital.

Another sigh of depression escaped him. He raised his hand and ran it, consciously, through his hair then let it fall to his grassy seat. For a moment he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His mind went empty and dark, and then a faint light appeared and silently exploded into a faded scene. Like images from a movie from the early 70s now faded and old; its colour and quality sadly gone, but at the same time, what he could see was vivid. A woman, beautiful and older by some few years had made her way into the village. Hidden village by the way. But this woman had knowledge of this place and she moved purposefully toward a trailer…his trailer, and he was there waiting. The daydream faded into darkness and the light of the day flooded into his eyes as he opened them. It seems an old friend had come to visit him and could not help but wonder how come after so long and also, why had she been away for so long? Yeah, loneliness got to him, bad!

He got to his feet, dusted off the back of his pants then walked back down the hill, through the settlement and toward his trailer. Tempted, he had the urge to mess with the vision and do something else, but the temptation was silenced simply because he was not in the mood for games. Conversation? Company? Most definitely. He sat on the step has he had been moments before and he waited for her to come and sure enough…half an hour later…yes, that long, she arrived and she looked radiant. Beautiful. She looked better than she usually did, especially since the months after she lost her husband. When she approached, she spoke and he happily gave her a handsome, toothy grin. Not accidental or purpose-work…more like habit. He got to his feet, brushed off the seat of his pants then approached Phoebe Halliwell, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “It’s good to see you again Phoebe.” He said, holding onto her longer than he should have but he eventually released her.

“You know, in all my twenty-eight years of being alive, I’ve never been more happy to see another face. How are you?”

[Phoebe Halliwell]

"Its good to see you to." Phoebe said laughing as he enveloped her in a bear hug.

When they separated, Phoebe continued to smile as she looked up into his face. As she looked she took in all the changes that had occurred since the last time she had seen him. He had grown a couple inches taller, his shoulders had broadened, he had put on a couple pounds of muscle and his jawline had become more defined. This definitely wasn't the lanky teenager that she had once known. There were a few things that had remained the same though. He had his mother's big warm, brown eyes that always gave the impression that they were able to see right to your very soul; he also had inherited her dirty blonde hair and of course that brilliant, wide smile. Yes some things changed but others definitely stayed the same.

"You sure are a sight for sore eyes, Luc." she said still grinning, "Its been long, too long but that's mostly my fault. I guess I'm here to rectify that wrong. I'm good." she continued responding to his question, "A lot better than the last time you saw me that's for sure. I can never thank you enough for all you did for me back then; how you were there for me and stuck by me through it all. I was a real bitch to you, you should get an award for all you put up with. At any rate, yeah I'm okay. How are you?"

[Luciano Nicoli]

&&&

He smiled at her. What else could he do but smile at her gratitude? He frowned slightly when she declared herself having been a bitch through that trying period of her time but he gave her a reassuring look and spoke to her in the way he had during that time. “Phoebs, your husband was killed…you were angry and I saw that and I allowed you to let that out in my presence. Rather it was me than anyone else closer to you. You weren’t a bitch at all…well, maybe just a bit.” He added, with the mischief lighting up his face as he shot her a grin. He took that moment immediately after to take a few steps back and look her over with folded arms and he was happy to see, once again, that her words were truthful. She was looking much better and it was his knowledge to know that one’s appearance reflected ones soul even if it was just for a day or for a moment but with Phoebe Halliwell, he knew that this was genuinely her as she should be. Full of life and taking no prisoners.

He smiled knowing that she was fine and needed not to use me as a crutch any longer, but his thoughts went to wishing he could provide better; more livelier surroundings…especially his trailer. He wished he could provide a proper living room where they could sit and talk but he was not in the position to provide such and knowing his future, he would not be able to have that at all and though it was unfortunate, he was content with not being able to have everything in life because it allowed the true him to come front and centre and for him to live an uncomplicated life…so it was not all bad, and besides, his trailer was not that messy…but maybe staying outside in the fresh air would be better. Yeah, like there would be any other option, but just to be sure… He turned to the trailer, closed the door with the snap then turned back to Ms. Halliwell with his thumbs pushed into his jeans pocket, forcing his muscles to go on display.

“So, not that I’m unhappy to see you…because I have missed having you around, you’ve been gone from me for so long I was beginning to think that you were using me and now that you were done…friendship over.” He could have smiled but he did not. He merely lowered his gaze and tried to play it off as a joke but seriously, he really felt that way. “…and I don’t want to seem rube by asking…but why are you here, slumming it out here with me?”

[Phoebe Halliwell]

Phoebe looked at him thoughtfully as he spoke and for a while afterwards, thinking about his words. She hated to think of it in that way but she had to admit that there was some truth to what he was saying. After his statement, she was even more reluctant than she already had been to reveal her true purpose for coming to see him out of the blue after all this time. If she did, it would basically confirm his fears. She wasn't using him as he thought and she really did cherish their friendship despite her actions but she could see why he would think differently and she didn't blame him in the least for his doubts.

"I've really been horrible to you." she said softly with a sigh, looking up into the sky and willing the heavens above to provide her with the answers she sought.

"Well its time I changed that." she continued looking back at him, "After all these years if there is one thing that I have learnt, it is to cherish the time you have with your loved ones. So you're wrong; I am not slumming it. I am out here spending way overdue time with one of my best friends."

[Luciano Nicoli]

&&&

He stared at her for a moment, wondering if she was serious or something like that. She was here just to spend time with him, it was not that he did not mind the company; he had been waiting too long for company these past few days so any company was more than welcomed; any company from Phoebe Halliwell would be more than welcomed, it would be enjoyed based on past experiences in her company. If he was correct, it was mostly enjoyed because his time was spent studying and admiring her despite the fact that she was a happily married woman, and since Coop died, a thought had cross his mind but he slapped it away and he would continue to because it was the right thing to do for a close friend like Phoebe. They shared much; they had much in common so to ruin that would be sour for him…so yeah, he smiled after she had spoken. He was thankful that she had come, and he was going to enjoy this of many visits, past and future.

“Um…give me a moment so I can find a shirt to put on, should have something clea…hopefully.” He said, getting up off his make-shift trailer steps. He flashed a grin her way then climbed those very steps and headed for his room. For a bit, he pushed shirt after shirt aside, took out one or two, looked it up and down before tossing it aside and eventually, he found a faded red graphic t-shirt, pulled it on; shoved his feet into a pair of old sneakers and jogged back to the door and slammed it shut as he descended the few steps. “Yeah, now I look appropriate in the presence of a lady and less like a bum.” He said, stretching as he spoke. “So…” He said one he had done limbering up to do absolutely nothing. “As I said, it is not that I don’t appreciate you visiting me…I hope you would do it more often, but looking back, you only come when you need me, not when you want to be around it. I don’t mind that, I don’t feel used or anything…it’s just, if there is something troubling you, I’d like if you told me upfront instead of carrying me around the world until you find the strength to tell me.”

“I’m not a kid anymore Phoebe…you can tell me.” He went on, persistently pressing because he was not going to let her get away with some poorly cooked up answer like “Nothing” or “I’m fine” because, as implied earlier, he knew bits about her pretty well by now. “Is it about Coop again?” He asked, trying not to seem annoyed by this merry-go-round that was started to wear on him and instead, trying to look sympathetic, well, he did not have to try because he was so, there was no problem there but seriously, it had been some time and she had went through fires to ease her pain, but it was Phoebe, he would understand if she was missing her husband again.